So I've figured out what my last words will be. "Wow. Death by Carpal Tunnel. That would never happen." Aaaand of course, I fall into a deep slumber called a coma and I die PEACEFULLY in my sleep three weeks later. My parents take me off life support. It was an easy decision.
My wrist IS kind of aching though. I don't really know why. Maybe I've been writing a lot. I think it's a sign, hence the "death by Carpal Tunnel" thing.
Words you shouldn't mix up: exotic and erotic. Here is a scenario.
You're being interviewed for a very prestigious college. You plan to major in biology. You are asked this question: "What do you do on your free time?"
"Well, I am in several programs that study genetic modifications, but I've recently taken a particular interest in erotic plants. I find them extremely interesting, arousing, and quite rewarding at the end of the sessions, if you know what I mean."
Yeah yeah I know. Who would be stupid enough to give a response to that? Answer: a lot of people. LESSON LEARNED. Don't study erotic plants!
My body is a complete mystery to me. There's ALWAYS something wrong with it. For a while, I had some knee problems and had trouble walking up the stairs. Then one day, they just went away. Same thing happened when I woke up one day and all my joints started cracking a LOT, and that went on for a few months (few meaning like 7). The they just went away again. After THAT, I start getting gas! Don't worry though, it's not the stinky kind. It's the kind that makes you feel like something in your body is about to explode, except it won't and that actually feels worse than the pre-eruption.
So, what did we learn today?
1. Death by Carpal Tunnel--not as rare as you think.
2. Exotic and erotic are very very different words. Men do not enjoy "exotica."
3. I got GAS, in different area codes (area codes) area codes I got GAS...
La fin!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
3. There's always time for a blog.
And don't let anybody tell you otherwise!
So, I missed the club picture for this thing I'm apparently in called CSF or something or other. I told Victoria to make Dara take the picture too so they could superimpose my face on the picture, but of course she failed. Dara was not in the picture. Therefore, neither my face nor my "body" will be in the picture. Some friend you are Victoria!
In other news, I've been trying to figure out physics for about an hour now. Who cares about electrons? Am I right? If I can't see it, I don't care about. There are also things that I CAN see that I don't care about, but that's irrelevant.
I'm all about irrelevance and digression.
I was wondering...why am I telling the story of my boring life day after day in such a "blog"? I don't think that the events that occur in my life are important enough to be documented, honestly. I don't even think they're worthy. At all.
-chants- My life is not worthy. My life is not worthy. My life is not worthy. My life is not worthy.
So, for those of you who have actually read, or skimmed (probably skimmed) their way down to here, please note that I never really ever have anything of substance to say. Well, maybe sometimes. I'll probably turn it around once in a while and write some crazy stories or something. Those will be fun. Yeah.
Bitchasshoeness! Have a good night. Don't grind your teeth, okay?
So, I missed the club picture for this thing I'm apparently in called CSF or something or other. I told Victoria to make Dara take the picture too so they could superimpose my face on the picture, but of course she failed. Dara was not in the picture. Therefore, neither my face nor my "body" will be in the picture. Some friend you are Victoria!
In other news, I've been trying to figure out physics for about an hour now. Who cares about electrons? Am I right? If I can't see it, I don't care about. There are also things that I CAN see that I don't care about, but that's irrelevant.
I'm all about irrelevance and digression.
I was wondering...why am I telling the story of my boring life day after day in such a "blog"? I don't think that the events that occur in my life are important enough to be documented, honestly. I don't even think they're worthy. At all.
-chants- My life is not worthy. My life is not worthy. My life is not worthy. My life is not worthy.
So, for those of you who have actually read, or skimmed (probably skimmed) their way down to here, please note that I never really ever have anything of substance to say. Well, maybe sometimes. I'll probably turn it around once in a while and write some crazy stories or something. Those will be fun. Yeah.
Bitchasshoeness! Have a good night. Don't grind your teeth, okay?
2. Desperate for help!
What is an extensive mansion
If furnished with empty space?
Just bricks stacked upon bricks
Surrounding a desolate place.
I feel like I'm trapped. No, not emo. I just want to get out of this prison cell called Washington. It's nothing but backstabbing and gossip and I don't know what I'm writing. I just hate my life. LET ME GO AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
Monday, February 23, 2009
1. A John Mayer love story...
This is how it happened. I swear on it.
It was three years ago when I stumbled upon a small pebble. Today, it is framed, hung on the wall of my bathroom, and named the Pebble of Faith. I am quite the original one, I know. Anyway, back to John Mayer sweeping me off my feet. Oh wait, we didn't get there yet!
So I was minding my own bees knees, walking from my house in the wonderful neighborhood that is Visitacion Valley to the nearby cafe around the corner. As you know, I am a very busy person. Those who call me often already expect that they will be put on hold for at LEAST 45-50 minutes. But you know, they love me enough to wait. Okay okay, back to the story.
So I was walking down the street, not looking at the ground but instead staring ahead absent-mindedly. This was the best mistake I have ever made in my entire life because from my lack of attention, it seemed as though a small pebble emerged from the ground. Yes, it was the Pebble of Faith. Naturally, I tripped on this pebble, and luckily for the man that saved me from a messy death, he met me. This man was John Mayer.
That instant he caught me in his arms, I gazed into his eyes, and his into mine. I saw my whole life in his eyes, and at that moment, I knew he was the one. So he passionately kissed me and we got married a month later the end.
Later!
It was three years ago when I stumbled upon a small pebble. Today, it is framed, hung on the wall of my bathroom, and named the Pebble of Faith. I am quite the original one, I know. Anyway, back to John Mayer sweeping me off my feet. Oh wait, we didn't get there yet!
So I was minding my own bees knees, walking from my house in the wonderful neighborhood that is Visitacion Valley to the nearby cafe around the corner. As you know, I am a very busy person. Those who call me often already expect that they will be put on hold for at LEAST 45-50 minutes. But you know, they love me enough to wait. Okay okay, back to the story.
So I was walking down the street, not looking at the ground but instead staring ahead absent-mindedly. This was the best mistake I have ever made in my entire life because from my lack of attention, it seemed as though a small pebble emerged from the ground. Yes, it was the Pebble of Faith. Naturally, I tripped on this pebble, and luckily for the man that saved me from a messy death, he met me. This man was John Mayer.
That instant he caught me in his arms, I gazed into his eyes, and his into mine. I saw my whole life in his eyes, and at that moment, I knew he was the one. So he passionately kissed me and we got married a month later the end.
Later!
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